....we'll give ya'll till the end of the Memorial Day weekend! Come on ladies let us know!

We HATE outdoor rec places who charge and arm and leg for kayaks and it's so full of leaks you can't complete your time and THEY WON'T REFUND THE MONEY!

B-tches better rethink this or they WILL FEEL OUR WRATH VERY SOON!

Hey you, we're everywhere now! And you have competition so bad press and gypping a group of young women and being TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE with them won't help anything.

FAIR WARNING refund or else....our pen is mighty and we have approx 14 loyal readers now he he he he he!

...we can play...in our garden! We picked up some great things at Roxbury to keep us busy all this week and the long weekend. .....Shouts to "Molly" for helping us with our green thumb.......
Also, Fred Vegas can we PLEASE put something to rest. The University Cafe versus Kybecca thing has become BORING which we said before but now it has grown MOLD like the cucumber veggie wrap from last week that we left in the FC fridge. But the BIs....keep those guesses going because it is the most fun we've had in weeks and we KNOW it's a HOT TIX parlor game here in Fred Vegas SHUT UP DON'T LIE.....Mr. Blogmaster is sooooo happy in his TDY igloo....!!!!!

...but with Smack Wars....We've read about 35 emails and comments and still can't figure out who works where, who hates who, why etc. .....There seems 2B a small group of people who were "potential" cafe employees that for various reasons never worked there and they have the best scoop about the smack wars and the best scoop on the management issues. They just weren't treated well period and aren't shy 2 share. .....We get very little feedback on the ACTUAL FOOD even though we've begged for it and posted glowing reviews whenever possible.
So we're giving up.
Obviously there is some tension and while we've heard various reasons it seems like an easy fix, so if the management changes based on the reviews we've read elsewhere in the blogosphere it seems like most problems would be over???? Leave it to calm cool logical women folk to solve the world's problems and bring about world peace (whirled peas?) but we are sure peace will come to William Street.

Until something really interesting comes to light or they close again we're bored of this. Please stop writing in claiming to be "an owner" or "manager" of either place...... Dumb asses one of our "staff assistants" might possibly have WORKED for some of these people before or been very close to someone who did so we aint stupid to how they talk.

Back to the garden!

Whew! Guess we touched on something with yesterday's BIs. Lots o'emails and we'll post some soon. Even more mail about U Cafe staffing issues and some "good" "balanced" U Cafe news soming soon....

A big wet kiss to say "thanks" for making our weekend such a smash!
Go green...downtown green{s}!

Reposted from earlier due to technical difficulties!

We don't know what "apple headed" means, but read the 100% VERY positive review written by a UMW student about the U Cafe, posted below in "It's a deal" archives about the smack talking. They complement the food, the scene, the music and the "diverse" bartenders. Also goes on to say how popular it already is with UMW students.

Sounds like a winning review, start to finish, and we are happy to post it.

Kind sir, please write back and tell us what "apple headed" means...they brought up the point that U Cafe and Kybecca complement each other and the debate about smack talking is "pointless and apple-headed."

We're intrigued....does this mean we're soon to be done in by Johnny Appleseed wannabes?

See Tubby cut us a break we said we'll post everything positive that we get!

Ladies while our Blogmaster is away we're accepting nominations for Best Fred Vegas Beefcake 2009!
Turnabout is fair play Mr Blogmaster, read this and weep in your TDY igloo!

Big kisses,
Ma Boo

PS Lots of email guesses on the blind items, keep em coming!

Lest we be accused of being overly negative toward University Cafe, a fellow blogger hip to the local scene wrote what we consider to be a fair and balanced review of the place, chalking up most of the issues to a case of the "opening blues." See below.

1. Overheard at La Petite: A city official was recently seen dining at La Petite with a lovely companion and when he went to settle his bill his credit card was declined. .....Flustered and agitated he loudly asked the server to try again about three times, and while this was happening he and his companion got into a bit of an argument over financial matters. ......It seems there are some stress fractures in this relationship. We specifically heard a bitter exchange about the cost of the dining companion's dress........ We can't judge because our card was declined at Denny's, so ya know....

**By the way, in case you hadn't noticed, we have AMAZING spies at LP so this is fair warning...



2. Times are tight all over. This experienced business owner has been turned down for numerous loans because "their credit is whacked and cruising the road in a used subcompact"...God, don't you love those commercials? Guess they didn't know about FREECREDITREPORT.com and four different banks have had to decline their business, most recently Navy Federal, Bank of America and First Market. ......We hope another Frederick's or Ben Franklin situation isn't looming...we're pulling for you!........

3. "Bounce": What local wannabe arts patron has left a wake of angry and disgruntled artists in her wake at Liberty Town? ...... She's a notorious and acrobatic "bouncer," known around here for almost ten years, and normally the husband covers for her. At least four artists refuse her checks. She's in her late 40s and should know better. ....... But we all know in this economy what goes around comes around...and he can't cover as much anymore. In January she went on a bender at Liberty Town and commissioned three artists to design specialized works for her, one for her town residence (a stunner!) and two for her out-of-town "seaside" retreat. ..... Problem is the checks came back. Two works were in process and the artists have said work won't continue until they are paid, but one artist spent a lot of time on the piece and is LIVID about how things went down. Calls are ignored, the work is in her possession and she's not acknowledging anything....this one is a mess, and the husband is......silent. FULL DISCLOSURE.....we are close to one of these artists (luckily one who hadn't finished the work) and know this story is 100% true.

4. BABY MAMA DRAMA! This commuting couple have struggled for years to keep his wife #1 happy, known locally as a gold-digging holy terror. ..... But she has upped the ante recently regarding custody issues and this is causing serious financial and marital strain for our adorable duo. Add to that wife #1 is exploiting the interracial element and perhaps forcing one member of our sweet couple to fall off of the wagon....and you can see why neighbors' tongues are wagging about the frequency and volume of fights coming out of their lovely house..... Yes, we hear the police we called recently when a BBQ grill (? or some large "garden object" ?) was thrown off of a deck during an alcohol-filled rage, causing such a racket that neighbors felt the cops should intervene........ This was also discussed during the couple's weekly dinner with friends at Bistro Bethem that turned into a mini-intervention...... Luckily, all's been quiet on the VRE front. ....... Everyone's pulling for you guys!

5. The Brunch Wars are on! Kybecca: 2, University Cafe: 0. Mother's Day is a no-brainer since U-Cafe had that unexpected "closed situation" but this weekend our spies declare Kybecca as the hands-down winner...... The Kybecca brunch is a new phenomenon that the folks at U Cafe weren't counting on when they opened, and one staff spy told us the owner and manager are sweating bullets about the unexpected competition. Fellas you got plenty to worry about, but we were told the Big Cheese feels duped because he was promised there would be NO brunch. We don't necessarily buy this, because our source says that the Big Cheese never says specifically WHO from Kybecca might have given this "promise." ........Doesn't wash. ......PS-how does it compare to Bistro or Jake & Mikes?

6. What a BOOB: This Fred Vegas femme had some "alterations" performed, and all seemed OK. Problem is one of her new boobies is settling in a different direction from the other one. She's had two check ups and may have to go back under the knife. ...... We don't think she cares because she wasn't exactly hiding her "new friends." ....Oddly, it caused tension with her significant other and we don't know how he feels about the "zig-zag sag."

7. SO JUICY: This city official is so desperate to get out of town they have interviewed for junior level positions in Fairfax, Midlothian and Abingdon (!!) that not only are a step down from their current spot but would also result in a $2,500 to $12,000 paycut. ......No word on when they will get results. Yes, our spy is in the know and has heard about some phone calls going back and forth. We hear this person is quietly hoping to be out of here and in their new position by the start of the new fiscal year July 1st.



8. MEASURING THE DRAPES: This small plates loving power duo are hell bent on getting to City Hall one way or the other. .....We now hear they are using Mr. Charisma himself as a conduit to round up a whole new "downtown focus group" and bring truly important issues before the city, because they're fed up with the existing organizational structure. .... They're seeking to attract a younger, hipper crowd to this focus group. ....... These two get what they want so its best to "join or die"-the coalition building going on is almost astonishing. .......Seriously, one half of the power couple has researched the be Jesus out of so many upcoming issues that she may actually know more about things than our elected officials. No one can doubt her smarts. City Hall is becoming a hot ticket, yes? Our Blogmaster is a fan of one and the other not as much. Poor Mr. Charisma, it's almost like it's not even his term anymore. ...... Never ever underestimate this duo-they are wiping the floor with their competition across the street, and when you visit their establishment by the looks of things you'd never guess there was a recession. ..... Kudos, kudos!


9. Observed at Sammy Ts: This downtown power duo dined out at Sammy Ts recently and did nothing to dispel the growing urban legend that they may in fact be part humanoid/part android. They made goo-goo eyes and held hands like grade schoolers .......We hear from their presumed soon-to-be neighbors that they recently SECRETLY closed on a "big dream house" (we have great spies so it isn't a secret to us) and will soon embark on a massive renovation project...anyway they looked like they were on a first date and this after presumably spending the whole day together....who does that? We sometimes want to kill our other half by the end of the day. The male half in particular doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and is such a fanatical Boy Scout that we really think he is the leader of a secret army of covert government assassins. Such discipline! They drank Diet Coke and Ginger Ale according to our witness.....Diet Coke and Ginger Ale!!!!.......on a Saturday night...at Sammy T's!!!????? Talk about squeaky clean it kind of makes you sick. Not a toxin in sight. They left holding hands, we threw up. And oh yes..they tip well!
PS-We hear this may have been an emancipation dinner....as in, free from the crazy downtown elders....more on that to come!



10. HOCK WHAT YOU GOT....Observed & Overheard at Keystone Coffee: This very prominent and beloved local musician had to put a very valuable instrument in a pawn shop recently to pay some bills. ........ And it turns out he almost lost it!!! It caused stress in this person's relationship as well as stress among his loose affiliation of bandmates...apparently some believe this piece is his "good luck charm." ..........We asked this person about this situation directly and he quite charmingly confirmed this story, and simply asked we not reveal his identity. We are complying. Hey, at least he had something to hock. ....... We hear the pawn shops do brisk business these days.



11. Overheard at Coldwell Banker: This prominent local person, who may or may not have once been involved with the city, is in the middle of intense negotiations to have a CB agent complete a short sale on their house before it is lost to foreclosure.......... We hear it may not happen in time, but really who cares...does ANYONE own a home anymore? Remember, we have the best real estate spies!

12. PSST: Which local "medical professional" has been seen out a lot with a person-people NOT their spouse? ........ Lots of hanky panky in their "practice.".......left a mark at Bonefish......

13. BEST FOR LAST...NOT SO CLOSETED CLOSET CASE??? Observed at Old Mill Park last week: This recently married gentleman was with a man...not his wife....and seemed a bit too amorous in the afternoon heat. Yes, no one goes there but it is a frequent Lovers Lane for the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" set. ........On this day the riverbank was crowded with high-water observers and he should have been more careful especially since the wife was home with the new baby!!.......... But we also hear the wife knows about "this side of him" and doesn't care...She just wanted a baby 'cause her clock was tickin' so loud you could hear it in a certain town about 60-odd miles from here-N,S,E or W. Hello, Fred Vegas open marriage! ..........Whatever they are only here part time and who cares since both of them are cool with it. But we hear the gentleman's boss doesn't know and it is becoming a source of tension....dude, if you get fired for that reason SUE THE HELL OUT OF HIM! ...........We got your back, because we also like a little illicit afternoon love....honestly, this one is an open secret if there ever was one.....but maybe these two men were just feeling close on this one afternoon? The other dude was from out of town and did the driving in a pretty nice pair of wheels. ............ Look we like this guy so ANY love he gets is fine by us!

****EMAIL YOUR GUESSES, whoever guesses the most wins a prize....lunch for two at the Fred Vegas Rec Center (we'll spring for a $5 meal so that should get you two dogzz at least....what? It's a recession and we're a small blog.....)
In cases of tie, we'll draw names from a hat @ Hyperion every Saturday at 10 AM.
Send your guesses in before 5PM Friday---GOOD LUCK!!!!!!---winner anounced next week!